Over the years, I have had something or someone to focus on aside from myself, sacrificing my wants and needs to satisfy another person or my career. I am learning to be alone, to be with myself, for the first time in thirty years. At a young age, I relied and lived with my mom and dad. In college, I lived with roommates. I met my ex during college and lived and depended on him for eleven years.
I now live on my own with the support of family and friends, and it is a learning process. I can not deny the fact that I am enjoying the freedom of decision making and my personal, soon to be girlie, space. However, I find that I am also never in my space. I love being surrounded by friends and family, a social butterfly. I often wonder why I am unable to face myself and focus on me. I read a journal entry that I wrote five years ago, in one of my yoga trainings..."I have a fire inside of me that is waiting to come out...I want to accomplish my dreams." I refuse to change who I am and go against my values to accomplish my goals and dreams.
I love sharing my energy with this world, whether it is by teaching a yoga class and seeing my students' smiles at the end of the practice or being committed and present in a relationship. Selfishly today, I am vowing to focus on me for a while, so that I am able to choose the direction that I want to take in my life related to my relationships, family, career, and community as a whole.